The gifts parents REALLY want for Christmas

What do you want to find under the Christmas tree this year? Forget socks and smellies. Don’t even THINK about giving us household appliances. Here are the gifts we REALLY would appreciate this Christmas. PLEASE Santa! We’ve been really good this year.

1. A whole night’s sleep 

It’s number one on every parent’s letter to Santa. A whole entire, uninterrupted worry-free delicious night’s sleep. Imagine. In our wildest dreams, our perfect night’s sleep would be one we woke from gently and gradually; not by an energetic toddler jumping on the bed demanding cornflakes and prising apart our eyelids yelling ‘Are you awake?’.

2. Being able to drink a cuppa while it’s still hot 

The luxury! Imagine being able to make and drink a cup of tea or coffee, while it’s still hot. Imagine having five minutes peace to savour every sip. Mostly, we either tip half the cup down the sink, because it has gone stone cold or you heat it up in the microwave three times (and it never tastes quite right). So, Santa, this Christmas let us drink a hot cuppa in peace.

3. One day without CBeebies 

Give us a break. Yes we know the television has an off switch and it’s all too easy to turn it on, and let our children enjoy a happy half hour of watching. But the programmes drive us crazy. Please can we have one day off from the overly happy, brightly coloured world of kid’s TV?

4. One day where our children don’t squabble 

We just want ONE day where our children get on – they play nicely together, they are cute and hug each other, they share, and they compromise.  We don’t have to wade in and sort out the squabbles or shriek to get back the peace. We can but dream.

5. An entire day at a spa 

Please, please Father Christmas can you make it possible for us to spend a whole day at a spa? We want to spend an entire day relaxing, being pampered and indulging in all sorts of expensive beauty treatments (that we can’t actually afford). We want to spend our spa day worry-free, knowing that our kids are being cared for and happy, and we don’t have to rush home to bung fish fingers under the grill.

6. For the laundry fairies to appear 

Oh how we wish magical fairies would appear and help us find the bottom of our laundry baskets. Imagine if ALL the clothes were washed, dried and folded away? Like magic. We actually can’t remember a time when we saw the bottom of our laundry basket. Oh – and if someone could pair every single sock that would be an added bonus.

7. Breakfast in bed 

But not rubbish kid-made breakfast in bed of the likes we are subjected to on Mother’s Day. Don’t get us wrong that’s cute, but we have to make yummy noise as we dutifully munch our way through cold toast and dry bran flakes, and tepid cups of pale tea. We want a properly tasty breakfast in bed – bacon and eggs, fresh croissant and fruit, pancakes and blueberries, AND acres of time to savour it. Alone… with our favourite book.

8. To eat an entire meal sitting down 

This one is for all the parents of tiny tots. The gift of enjoying an entire meal sitting at the table without having to get up and deal with an emergency nappy situation that puts you right off your meatballs.

9. A bath to ourselves 

A whole half hour to relax and submerge ourselves in a luxurious bubble bath without rubber ducks or without small people knocking on the door. Even better, we’ll take a night away where we can relax in a hot tub staring up at the stars. Sigh.